Other conversations I've had with myself

Alcohol

You know what would be awesome right now?  ETHANOL.

What?  What the heck?  You know I don't drink.  Just last week I was puzzling over the last time I had anything alcoholic, and decided it was that raspberry honey wine last summer.  Which was delicious, by the way, but I'm certainly not wasting drinking it when I feel like this.

C'mon, ALCOHOL!

What?  No!  You know that I don't drink.  It messes up the crafting.

Like you're crafting right now anyway.  Look at you, you're not even reading!

Yes I am!

Oh really?  How many pages in the past two days?

... 134.

And how many would you normally have read by now?

... 700.

You're really just playing Pocket Frogs aren't you.

Shut up.  Not drinking.

You know what would be awesome right now?  ETHANOL.

SHUT UP.

Eat the foods.

*nom nom nom jelly beans*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?

What am I doing what?  Calories, simple sugars, gelatin.  What's the problem?

YOU'RE KILLING ME.

Really.  Jelly beans.

JUST STOP, OK?

Fine.

*************************************************

*om nom nom corn chips*

STOP THAT.

Chips?  -_-

STOP IT NOW.

*************************************************

*slurp slurp slurp chicken noodle soup*

I WANT ALL THE BROTH SOUPS.

That... that was it.

You suck.

Bite me.

Oh yeah?  *HUGE FEVER SPIKE*

-_-  Miso?

GIVE ME ALL THE MISO.

Sold.  Yours.  Now, drink the water.

No.

C'mon, water.

I AM VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Fine.  Dr. Pepper?

Fill me to the top, please!

But jelly beans are too much for you?

Do you want to rock the apple cart?

... One six-pack or two?